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WEDLOCK  IN  TIME 


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Wedlock 
In  Time 


By 

DOUGLAS  FAIRBANKS 

Author  of  "Laugh  and  Live" 

"Making  Life  Worth 

While." 


New  York 
BRITTON  PUBLISHING  COMPANY 


Copyright,  1918 
Britton  Publishing  Company,  Inc. 


Made  in  U.  S.  A.     All  rights  reserved. 


GIFT 


"Pa 


WEDLOCK  IN  TIME 

It  is  a  happy  idea  to  marry  while  we  are 
young— a  fine  thing— a  good  thing— a  pleas- 
ant duty  indeed  to  marry  the  woman  of  our 
choice  at  a  time  of  life  when  both  are  at  an 
age  when  adjustment  is  natural  and  lasting 
loyalties  are  implanted  in  our  hearts  and 
minds  for  all  time.    We  make  a  sad  mis- 
take when  we  postpone  so  important  a  step 
just  for  the  sake  of  becoming  a  rich  man  first 
so  that  our  bride-to-be  may  step  into  luxur- 
ious quarters  and  never  have  to  lift  her 
dainty  hands  except  to  sip  from  the  glass  of 
nectar  we  have  set  before  her.   The  real  facts 
compiled  by  the  statistical  "System  Sams" 
are  against  this  idea.    The  balance  comes  up 
in  red  ink  on  the  wrong  side  of  the  ledger. 
According  to  these  gentlemen  the  average 

7 

M3541G2 


8  WEDLOCK  IN  TIME 

mortal  is  likely  to  be  very  fat  and  much  over 
forty  before  he  can  make  an  offering  accord- 
ing to  his  first  generous  impulses  and  the 
chances  are  he  will  never  reach  the  goal  in 
this  life.  By  the  time  he  might  be  financially 
ready  there  is  a  hard  glint  in  his  eye,  and 
he  will  be  looking  for  the  mote  in  the  eye  of 
his  lady  love.  The  waiting  game  is  a  hard 
one  and  it  makes  as  worldly.  After  the 
lapse  of  years  what  once  seemed  a  rose 
might  appear  to  me  more  of  a  hollyhock. 

Naturally  we  never  blame  ourselves  for 
the  changes.  Had  we  obeyed  the  grand  im- 
pulse in  the  hour  of  our  youth  we  might 
have  kept  the  garden  full  of  roses  and  the 
hollyhocks  would  never  have  sprouted  there. 
Then  the  home  nest  would  have  tinged  our 
sensibilities  with  its  loveliness  and  our  affec- 
tions would  have  been  nailed  down  hard  and 
fast  forever  and  a  day. 

Among  the  many  baffling  problems  which 
the  young  man  faces,  and  for  that  matter, 
any  man,  is  marriage.  More  thought,  more 
energy  and  more  time  is  taken  up  over  this 
one  decisive  step  than  over  any  other.    The 


WEDLOCK  IN  TIME  9 

reasons  are  obvious.  It  involves  for  life  the 
happiness  of  the  contracting  parties — not 
only  in  a  direct  and  personal  way,  but  also 
in  a  general  sense.  The  man's  business  suc- 
cess largely  depends  upon  the  helpmate  he 
has  in  his  home.  His  career  is  at  her  mercy. 
For  example,  if  the  wife  should  turn  out  to 
be  unsympathetic,  and  uninterested  in  his 
ambitions,  this  fact  might  warp  his  prospects 
by  causing  him  to  lose  heart  in  facing  the 
large  problems  awaiting  him  along  the  road 
of  opportunity.  However,  if  she  is  of  a 
cheerful,  energetic  disposition  and  willing 
to  do  all  that  she  can  to  help  him  over  the 
rough  spots  as  they  travel  along  together  he 
will  be  inspired  into  action  and  will  do  his 
level  best.  He  will  be  conscious  as  he  goes 
about  his  work  that  there  is  one  person  above 
all  upon  whom  he  can  depend — his  wife. 

Marriage  is  a  serious  business  and  usually 
we  concede  that  point  in  the  beginning. 
However,  this  is  not  aimed  as  a  blow  at  life's 
greatest  romance  .  .  .  it  is  merely  the  recog- 
nition of  an  elemental  fact.  .  .  .  Marriage 
must  have  its  practical  side.    To  become  sue- 


10  WEDLOCK  IN  TIME 

cessf ul  in  the  highest  degree  man  and  wife 
must  establish  a  comradeship.  It  is  not  the 
part  of  wisdom  that  either  should  rule  the 
other,  but  rather  that  each  should  have  the 
interest  of  the  other  at  heart  and  should 
strive  to  be  helpful  one  unto  the  other.  Two 
men  can  go  through  life  the  best  of  friends, 
each  holding  the  respect  and  confidence  of 
the  other.  So  can  two  women.  Then,  why 
not  a  man  and  wife?  Needless  to  say  they 
can,  and  do.  Such  partnerships  are  sure  of 
success.  It  is  only  through  lack  of  comrade- 
ship that  love  flies  out  of  the  window — and 
lights  on  a  sea-going  aeroplane. 

The  marriage  state  is  a  long  contract — 
it  should  not  be  stumbled  into  by  man  or 
woman.  Nor  should  we  become  cowardly  to 
the  point  of  backing  out  of  it  altogether. 
Love  is  blind  only  to  the  blind.  Either  party 
to  the  tie  that  binds  has  a  chance  to  know  in 
advance  whether  the  venture  is  safe  and 
sane.  All  a  man  has  to  consider  after  he 
knows  his  own  heart  is  that  the  woman  of  his 
choice  is  sensible,  considerate  and  healthy. 
Other  things  being  equal  he  can  take  the 


WEDLOCK  IN  TIME  11 

leap  without  hesitancy.  We  shouldn't  bor- 
row trouble. 

Of  course  there  are  those  who  should  never 
marry.  They  do,  however,  and  when  they  do 
they  loan  themselves  to  the  mockery  of  the 
marriage  state.  There  is  no  time  to  dwell  on 
this  thought  for  it  is  just  something  that  goes 
on  happening  anyway  and  has  no  bearing 
upon  the  advisability  of  "wedlock  in  time" 
between  people  of  horse  sense. 

Given  a  good  wife,  after  his  own  heart,  no 
manly  man  has  a  righteous  kick  coming 
against  the  fates.  Under  such  circumstances 
if  things  go  wrong  he  will  find  the  fault 
within  himself.  Of  course  we  should,  to  the 
fullest  possible  extent,  be  prepared  for  mar- 
riage before  assuming  its  responsibilities. 
We  should  at  least  have  a  ticket  before  em- 
barking— and  it  is  the  real  man's  duty  to 
provide  the  ticket.  Since  it  is  to  be  a  long 
voyage  a  "round  trip"  isn't  necessary.  In 
other  words,  a  man  needn't  be  rich  when  he 
marries — but  he  should  not  be  broke,  either. 
Lack  of  funds  a  few  days  after  the  honey- 
moon is  too  hard  a  test  for  matrimony  to 


12  WEDLOCK  IN  TIME 

bear  nobly.  It  is  too  much  like  inviting  a 
catastrophe  through  lack  of  good,  hard  sense 
to  begin  with.  It  shows  poor  generalship  at 
the  very  start — and  there  is  the  liability  of 
causing  great  distress  and  hardship  to  a 
tender-hearted  little  woman.  It  would  be  a 
sad  blow  to  her  to  find  that  the  man  of  her 
choice  was,  after  all,  just  an  ordinary  fellow 
— a  man  without  foresight. 

There  are  four  seasons  in  married  life — 
spring,  summer,  fall  and  winter,  and  we  are 
going  to  need  a  comrade  as  we  go  through 
each  of  them.  And  the  one  we  want  is  the 
one  we  start  with — the  gentle  partner  in  all 
our  joys  and  sorrows.  It  is  she  who  will 
stand  back  of  us  when  all  others  fail.  When 
the  children  come  along  to  bless  our  days  and 
inspire  us  to  greater  efforts  we  are  glad  to 
look  into  their  happy,  smiling  faces  and  find 
that  they  resemble  their  mother — their  soft 
cheeks  are  like  hers,  their  hands,  their  dainty 
ways,  their  caresses.  And  when  mama  looks 
into  those  same  bright  eyes  they  make  her 
think  of  their  daddy.  The  fond  affection  be- 
stowed upon  the  children  by  both  parents  is 


WEDLOCK  IN  TIME  13 

but  another  mode  of  expressing  their  regard 
for  each  other. 

Springtime  days,  these !  When  little  tots 
climb  up  and  entwine  their  arms  about  our 
necks.  If  this  were  married  life's  only  com- 
pensation it  would  not  prove  in  vain — for 
when  the  babies  enter  the  home  the  tie  that 
binds  becomes  hard  and  fast — if  the  man  is 
a  manly  man.  To  become  the  father  of  a 
bright-eyed  babe  is  an  experience  of  the 
highest  importance  to  a  young  man  getting 
started.  It  reinforces  his  courage,  doubles 
up  his  ambitions  and  puts  him  on  his  mettle. 
He  has  a  new  responsibility  and  it  adds  to 
his  strength  of  character  to  assume  it  in  all 
its  phases.  Another  thing  it  brings  comfort 
and  joy  to  the  mother  during  the  long  days 
while  her  man  is  out  in  the  fray.  It  drives 
ennui  out  of  the  household  throughout  our 
springtime  days. 

And  when  summer  comes  along  new  hopes 
dawn  within  us.  Springtime  had  found  us 
up  and  doing  and  when  it  merged  into  the 
new  season  we  found  our  aspirations  even 
stronger  than  before.    Children  must  be  edu- 


14  WEDLOCK  IN  TIME 

cated  and  their  futures  prepared  in  advance 
as  far  as  may  be.  They  must  not  go  into  the 
world  without  tools  to  work  with.  Mean- 
while the  household  teems  with  plans  and  be- 
comes a  veritable  dreamland  of  youthful 
fervor.  We  find  that  having  helped  our 
children  into  attractive  personalities  they 
have  become  magnets  with  which  to  draw 
about  us  their  comrades.  Thus  we  hold  on 
to  our  youth  by  virtue  of  our  surroundings — 
creatures  of  our  thoughtfulness  concerning 
"wedlock  in  time" 

That  the  fall  season  is  coming  has  no  ter- 
rors for  us.  There  will  be  the  weddings  and 
plannings  for  new  homes  close  by — if  we 
have  our  say.  And  in  due  course,  the  grand- 
children will  come  who  will  favor  grandpa 
and  grandma  and  once  again  youth  knocks  at 
our  door.  There  will  be  no  dread  winter 
days  for  us  for  we  have  been  forehanded — 
we  have  a  new  crew  on  board  to  chase  away 
the  cares  of  old  age  and  infirmities. 

Try  how  we  will  there  is  no  way  to  fore- 
stall the  operation  of  the  law  of  compensa- 
tion.   We  reap  as  we  sow.    The  world  will 


WEDLOCK  IN  TIME  15 

be  good  to  those  who  compel  its  respect  by 
becoming  the  right  sort  of  citizens.  Wed- 
lock in  time — that's  the  answer! 

Living  beyond  our  means  is  a  big  subject 
that  must  be  treated  broadly,  for  circum- 
stances alter  cases.  There  is  a  sane  way  to 
look  at  every  problem,  and  the  matter  of  liv- 
ing beyond  our  means  is  one  of  the  major 
problems  we  have  to  face.  If  every  man  was 
alike  and  every  avocation  in  life  was  on  a 
parity,  it  would  be  possible  to  dispose  of  this 
subject  in  a  paragraph.  But  men  are  not 
alike.  What  one  could  do  successfully  might 
easily  baffle  another.  Therefore,  it  seems 
advisable  to  consider  the  subject  by  looking 
into  its  depths. 

To  most  people  debt  is  terrifying.  To 
some  it  means  nothing — and  thus  we  have  in- 
dividual temperament  as  an  angle  from 
which  to  consider.  Living  beyond  our  abil- 
ity to  pay  means  going  into  debt  via  the 
shortest  route.  Getting  out  of  debt  means  a 
revision  of  our  code  to  the  extent  of  ceasing 
to  live  beyond  our  means  and  saving  some- 


16  WEDLOCK  IN  TIME 

thing  with  which  to  pay  off  what  we  owe. 
Some  men  can  do  this  successfully — others 
fail  while  seemingly  trying  their  best  to  suc- 
ceed— and  still  others  do  nothing  to  stem  the 
tide.  With  these  it  is  a  matter  of  how  the 
tide  serves.  If  favoring  winds  should  drive 
them  to  opulence  they  would  more  than 
likely  pay  up,  particularly  those  imbued 
with  sufficient  personal  honor  to  "make 
good." 

Such  are  the  exigencies  of  life,  we  may  as 
well  concede  that  a  vast  majority  at  some 
time  or  other  find  it  necessary  to  owe  more 
than  they  can  readily  pay.  Emergencies 
arise  which  force  us  into  expenses  that  re- 
quire credit,  and  if  we  have  so  ordered  our 
lives  that  when  the  pinch  comes  we  have  no 
credit  established  the  fact  that  we  pay  out 
our  last  dollar  and  go  hungry  to  bed  does  not 
bring  us  much  sympathy.  Thus  it  would 
seem  that  to  be  able  to  say :  "I  pay  as  I  go," 
or, "  I  owe  no  man  a  dollar, "  or, "  I  never  live 
beyond  my  means"  is  not  much  of  a  boast, 
when,  after  a  death  in  the  family,  or  other 
unforeseen  circumstances,  we  find  ourselves 


WEDLOCK  IN  TIME  17 

broke  and  nowhere  to  turn  for  accommoda- 
tion. 

It  has  been  aptly  said  that  "people  can 
save  themselves  to  death/'  In  other  words, 
one  may  develop  the  saving  habit  to  such  an 
extent  that  " Laugh  and  Live"  can  find  no 
room  beside  us  on  the  perch  of  our  existence. 
We  must  admit  that  the  systematic  saver  of 
pennies  misses  a  lot  as  he  goes  along,  and, 
with  time,  degenerates  into  a  sort  of  "Kill 
Joy."  In  the  matter  of  regulating  his  fam- 
ily to  his  way  of  thinking  he  usually  has  an 
uphill  job.  Sons  leave  home  as  soon  as  they 
can ;  daughters  marry  and  breathe  a  sigh  of 
relief,  leaving  mother  behind  to  slave  on  in 
order  that  the  hoard  may  grow. 

While  all  of  this  is  true  it  only  represents 
extreme  cases,  therefore  it  should  not  be  con- 
strued that  this  chapter  is  launched  against 
the  habit  of  saving.  Rather,  its  purpose 
is  to  suggest  the  thought  of  not  "oversav- 
ing" at  the  expense  of  personal  welfare. 
Our  best  plan  would  be  to  save  in  reason,  not 
forgetting  that  life  is  here  to  enjoy  as  we  go 
along.     Then,  too,  we  must  have  a  credit 


18  WEDLOCK  IN  TIME 

rating  among  our  fellow  mortals,  just  the 
same  as  a  business  person  must  have  credit 
rating  among  financial  institutions. 

Credit  in  business  is  worth  more  than 
money  because  it  allows  for  expansion 
whereas  money  in  the  bank  is  only  good  as 
far  as  it  goes.  Many  a  merchant  who  bought 
and  sold  for  cash  all  his  life  found  when  he 
came  to  enlarge  his  business  that  one  thing 
was  lacking — credit.  The  fact  that  he  had 
always  paid  cash  threw  a  doubt  upon  his 
financial  condition  when  he  proposed  to  bor- 
row. He  had  neglected  to  build  up  a  credit 
as  he  went  along.  The  business  world  only 
knew  him  as  a  man  who  paid  cash  and  ex- 
pected cash.  Taken  at  his  fullest  inventory 
he  had  " scalped' '  a  living  out  of  the  world 
which  he  had  done  but  little  to  make  hap- 
pier or  better.  One  calamity  might  easily 
scuttle  his  prospects  forever — for  instance,  a 
fire,  or  a  bank  failure.  And  without  credit 
it  would  be  difficult  to  start  over  again. 

By  all  means  we  must  save  something  for 
the  " rainy  day"  as  we  go  along — and  our 
savings  can  be  made  up  of  other  things  than 


WEDLOCK  IN  TIME  19 

actual  cash  in  bank.  One  item  of  our  savings 
is  the  habit  of  keeping  up  our  appearances. 
Living  beyond  our  means  does  not  incorpor- 
ate the  thought  that,  in  order  to  save  every 
possible  cent,  we  should  become  slipshod  and 
shabby.  Carelessness  in  dress  takes  away 
from  our  rating  as  nothing  else  will  for  it 
has  to  do  with  first  impressions  of  those  with 
whom  we  come  in  contact.  Gentility  pays 
dividends  of  the  highest  order,  being,  as  it  is, 
a  badge  of  character.  Neatness  bespeaks 
character,  and  it  is  just  as  cheap  in  dollars 
and  cents  to  keep  ourselves  respectably 
clothed  as  to  indulge  in  shoddy  apparel 
under  the  delusion  that  we  have  saved  money 
on  the  purchase  price.  Good  clothing,  cost- 
ing more  at  the  start,  lasts  long  and  looks 
well  as  long  as  it  lasts.  Shoddy  apparel 
never  is  anything  else  but  shoddy,  and  well 
might  it  proclaim  the  shoddy  man. 

When  we  throw  away  our  opportunity  to 
present  a  genteel  appearance,  just  for  the 
sake  of  the  bank  roll,  we  doom  ourselves  to 
defeat  in  the  pursuit  of  knowledge.  We  can- 
not get  all  we  want  to  know  by  the  mere 


20  WEDLOCK  IN  TIME 

reading  of  books.  We  must  mingle  with  peo- 
ple; we  must  interchange  thought  that  we 
may  crystallize  what  we  know  into  practical 
knowledge  so  it  can  be  made  into  tools  to 
work  with.  While  a  man  of  brains  is  wel- 
come everywhere  the  matter  of  his  appear- 
ance has  a  lot  to  do  with  how  he  is  received 
and  with  whom  he  may  fraternize. 

" Isn't  it  a  pity,"  we  hear  people  say, 
"that,  with  all  his  brains,  he  hasn't  sense 
enough  to  make  himself  presentable  ?"  But 
the  worst  phase  of  the  situation  is  that  the 
unkempt  man  sooner  or  later  loses  faith  in 
himself  and  either  ceases  to  hoard  at  the  ex- 
pense of  his  gentility  or  he  gives  up  his  op- 
portunity to  mingle  with  others  and  lapses 
into  habits  consistent  with  miserly  thoughts. 

The  phrase  "a  happy  medium"  is  well 
known  and  decidedly  applicable  to  the  sub- 
ject of  saving  as  we  go  along  so  that  we  may 
avert  the  sorrows  which  follow  in  the  wake 
of  living  beyond  our  means.  It  suggests  a 
desirable  middle  course  which  permits  us  to 
adopt  a  sane  policy,  rather  than  flying  to  an 
extreme. 


WEDLOCK  IN  TIME  21 

It  cannot  be  said  that  we  are  living  beyond 
our  means  when  by  reason  of  our  association 
with  men  of  affairs  we  need  to  spend  more 
money  and  thereby  save  less  in  preparing 
ourselves  for  the  larger  opportunities  which 
will  naturally  follow.  Young  men  often  go 
through  college  on  their  "uppers,"  so  to 
speak.  There  is  not  a  cent  which  they  could 
honestly  save  as  they  went  along  without 
cheating  themselves.  The  point  is  that  their 
situations  in  life  force  them  to  spend  rather 
than  to  save  money.  But  in  so  doing  the 
real  saving  was  in  the  spending  thereof. 
They  enlarged  their  knowledge  and  de- 
creased their  "bank  accounts  for  the  time  "be- 
ingp.  What  man  parts  with  in  an  emergency 
is  no  license,  however,  for  him  to  fall  back 
into  profligacy.  Never  should  a  man  en- 
tirely lose  the  idea  of  putting  something  by. 
The  college  boy  in  this  case  has  simply  in- 
vested his  money  in  an  education  instead  of 
a  bank  account. 

Once  on  the  highroad  of  life  with  a  plan  of 
action  well  defined  and  a  regular  income  the 
habit  of  putting  money  away  should  become 


22  WEDLOCK  IN  TIME 

a  fixed  procedure.  In  no  other  way  do  we 
accumulate  except  by  investment,  and  invest- 
ment means  putting  away  money  at  interest 
or  in  some  project  which  promises  better  re- 
turns. 

It  is  not  within  the  province  of  all  men  to 
become  wealthy  and,  after  all,  wealth  is  not 
the  only  desideratum ;  the  happiest  of  mor- 
tals are  found  in  the  middle  walks  of  life 
and  not  in  the  extremes.  The  struggle 
should  be  to  escape  the  life  which  saps  our 
strength,  keeps  our  nerves  on  edge  and  drives 
us  away  from  the  green  pastures. 

Consideration  for  others  is  man's  noblest 
attitude  toward  his  fellow  man.  For  every 
seed  of  human  kindness  he  plants,  a  flower 
blooms  in  the  garden  of  his  own  heart.  In 
him  who  gives  in  such  a  way  there  is  no  hypo- 
critical feeling  of  charity  bestowed.  His 
very  act  disarms  the  thought.  It  is  as  nat- 
ural for  an  honorable  man  to  show  consider- 
ation to  others  as  it  is  for  him  to  eat  and 
sleep.  Acts  of  kindness  are  the  outward 
manifestations  of  gentle  breeding — a  refine- 


WEDLOCK  IN  TIME  23 

merit  of  character  in  the  highest  sense  of  the 
word. 

What  would  we  do  in  this  world  without 
the  helping  hand,  the  friendly  word  of  cheer, 
the  thought  that  others  shared  our  losses  and 
cheered  our  victories  ?  If  consideration  for 
our  feelings  and  thoughts  did  not  exist  on 
this  earth  we  would  never  know  the  depths 
of  the  love  of  our  friends.  There  would  be 
no  such  thing  as  an  earthly  reward  of  merit. 

Consideration  for  others  is  the  milk  of 
human  kindness.  For  what  we  do  for  others 
our  recompense  is  in  the  act  itself  ...  we 
should  crave  no  other  reward.  Observation 
brings  to  view  that  they  who  give  in  real 
charity  cloak  their  acts  from  the  eyes  of  all 
save  the  recipient.  Givers  of  this  type  rise 
to  the  supreme  heights  of  greatness.  It  is  a 
part  of  their  wisdom  to  know  what  is  best  to 
be  done  and  they  go  about  it  as  a  pleasure  as 
well  as  a  duty. 

Consideration  for  others  pays  big  divi- 
dends. It  is  a  virtue  that  makes  for  strong 
friendships  and  true  affections.  Those  who 
possess  it  have  a  hard  time  hiding  their  light 


24  WEDLOCK  IN  TIME 

under  a  bushel.  In  teaching  fortitude  to 
others  they  partake  of  the  same  knowledge. 
In  the  hours  of  their  own  affliction  they  re- 
tain their  courage  and  keep  their  minds  un- 
soured.  They  are  the  sure-enough  "good 
fellows"  of  life  and  their  presence  is  the  sig- 
nal for  instantaneous  good  cheer.  We  all 
know  them  by  their  gentle  knock  at  the  door. 
In  a  thousand  ways  they  impress  themselves 
upon  our  lives,  have  entered  into  our  coun- 
cils, have  given  us  the  right  advice  at  the 
right  time — and  when  the  sad  day  comes 
along  their  strong  shoulders  are  there  for  us 
to  lean  upon. 

Consideration  for  others  is  apt  to  be  an 
inherent  quality,  but  like  everything  else  it 
can  be  accentuated  or  modified  according  to 
our  own  determination.  It  is  a  growth  that 
should  be  inculcated  early  in  the  lives  of 
children — the  earlier  the  better.  A  child's 
most  impressionable  age  is  said  to  be  between 
its  fourth  and  fifth  years.  Then  is  the  time 
to  teach  it  the  little  niceties  of  life — the  clos- 
ing of  a  door  softly — tip-toeing  quietly  that 
mother  may  not  be  awakened  from  her  nap 


WEDLOCK  IN  TIME  25 

— tidiness — cleanliness — good  morals — all  of 
which  are  to  become  vital  factors  in  a  life  of 
consideration  for  others. 

A  great  many  of  us  have  the  desire  to  be  of 
service  to  others  but  timidity  holds  us  back. 
Say,  for  instance,  one  might  see  a  person  in 
great  distress  and  because  of  diffidence  with- 
hold the  proffered  hand — someone  we've 
known  who  comes  to  the  point  of  penury  but 
has  too  much  pride  to  ask  assistance — we 
pass  by  fearful  that  we  might  offend.  How 
many  times  has  this  happened  to  us?  Who 
knows  but  the  best  friend  we  have  at  this 
very  moment  would  give  anything  in  the 
world  if  his  pride  would  let  him  bridge  that 
distance  between  us. 

The  man  with  the  ability  to  laugh  has  little 
diffidence  about  these  matters.  Having  con- 
fidence in  himself  and  being  happy  and  alert 
he  goes  to  the  friend  in  need  with  courage 
and  the  kind  of  help  that  helps.  If  he 
doesn't  do  it  directly  he  finds  a  way  to  reach 
him  through  mutual  friends.  He  does  not  go 
about  parading  his  kindness,  either.  He  has 
gained   a   sincere   and   beautiful   pleasure 


26  WEDLOCK  IN  TIME 

out  of  aiding  an  old  friend  and  he  can 
go  on  his  way  rejoicing  that  life  is  worth 
living  when  he  has  lived  up  to  its  higher 
ideals. 

Consideration  for  others  does  not  neces- 
sarily involve  only  the  big  things.  It  is  the 
sum  and  total  of  numberless  acts  and 
thoughts  that  make  for  friendships  and 
kindliness.  People  who  are  thoughtful 
surely  brighten  the  world.  They  are  ever 
ready  to  do  some  little  thing  at  the  correct 
moment  and  after  a  time  we  begin  to  realize 
how  much  their  presence  means  to  us.  We 
may  not  notice  them  the  first  time,  or  the 
third,  or  the  fifth,  but  after  a  while  we  be- 
come conscious  of  their  persistence  and  we 
esteem  them  accordingly.  Such  men  are  the 
products  of  clean,  straightforward  lives. 
They  are  never  too  busy  to  exchange  a  pleas- 
ant word.  They  do  not  flame  into  anger  on 
a  pretext.  Their  code  of  existence  is  well 
ordered  and  filled  to  the  brim  with  lots  to  do 
and  lots  to  think  about.  The  old  saying :  "If 
you  want  anything  go  to  a  busy  man/'  ap- 
plies to  them  in  this  regard.    The  busier  men 


WEDLOCK  IN  TIME  27 

are  the  more  time  they  seem  to  have  for  kind- 
liness. 

Another  word  for  consideration  is  service. 
Nothing  brings  a  greater  self -reward  than  a 
service  done  in  an  hour  of  need,  or  a  favor 
granted  during  a  day's  grind.  The  generous 
man  who  climbs  to  the  top  of  the  ladder  helps 
many  others  on  their  way.  The  more  he  does 
for  someone  else  the  more  he  does  for  him- 
self. The  stronger  he  becomes — the  greater 
his  influence  in  his  community.  Doing 
things  for  others  may  not  bring  in  bankable 
dividends  but  it  does  bring  in  happiness. 
Such  actions  scorn  a  higher  reward.  We 
have  only  to  try  out  the  plan  to  learn  the 
truth  for  ourselves.  A  good  place  to  begin  is 
at  home.  Then,  the  office,  or  wherever  life 
leads  us.  And  in  doing  these  things  we  will 
laugh  as  we  go  along — we  will  laugh  and  get 
the  most  out  of  living. 

Our  little  day-by-day  kindnesses  when 
added  together  constitute  in  time  a  huge  as- 
set on  the  right  side  of  our  ledger  of  life. 
We  should  start  the  day  with  something  that 
helps  another  get  through  his  day  .  .  .  even 


— 


28  WEDLOCK  IN  TIME 

if  it  isn't  any  more  than  a  smile  and  a  wave 
of  the  hand.  And  he  will  remember  us  for 
it. 

It  is  said  that  advice  is  cheap  and  for  that 
reason  is  given  freely.  But  the  proper  kind 
of  advice  is  about  as  rare  as  the  proverbial 
hen's  tooth.  In  order  to  give  real  advice  we 
must  understand  the  man  who  asks  for  it.  If 
what  we  say  to  him  is  to  become  of  value  we 
must  see  to  it  that  his  mind  is  put  in  proper 
shape  to  receive  advice.  Be  sure  that  he 
laughs,  or  smiles  at  least,  before  we  seriously 
take  up  his  case.  And  when  wTe  have  done 
our  stunt  in  the  way  of  advice  let's  send  him 
away  with  a  fine  good  humor.  A  friendly 
pat  on  the  back  as  he  goes  out  our  doorway 
may  mean  a  bracer  to  his  determination. 
"You'll  put  it  over/'  we  shout  after  him — 
and  thus  we  have  been  of  real  help.  He 
needed  sympathy  and  courage.  He  needed 
a  cheerful  spirit — so  came  to  us  and  we 
didn't  let  him  go  away  until  we  gave  him  all 
these.    Bully  for  us ! 

Consideration  for  others  does  not  admit  of 
ostentation  and  hypocrisy.    We  never  allow 


WEDLOCK  IN  TIME  29 

our  left  hand  to  know  what  our  right  hand 
does  in  charity,  nor  do  we  boast  of  our  help- 
ful attitude  toward  our  fellow  men.  It  is 
well  to  make  a  point  of  this  fact — in  this 
world  are  many  "ne'er-do-ivells"  who  fail 
to  profit  by  advice  and  thereby  become  pro- 
fessional in  the  seeking  of  favors.  Consid- 
eration owes  them  nothing  and  to  withstand 
their  persistent  appeals  would  in  time  dull 
our  natural  tendencies  toward  helping  oth- 
ers. 

Consideration  for  others  is  a  prime  refine- 
ment of  character.  To  be  able  to  use  it  in  our 
daily  lives  becomes  one  of  our  greatest  con- 
solations. Sympathy  begets  affection  and 
kindly  deeds — in  a  relative  sense  it  binds  to- 
gether the  properties  which  go  to  make  the 
soul  within  us.  Brow-beating,  scolding,  iras- 
cibility and  the  like  are  microbes  which  react 
against  the  milk  of  human  kindness,  and  if 
we  succumb  we  are  left  stranded  and  alone 
amid  a  world  of  friendliness  and  good  fel- 
lowship. 


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